What lifestyle will you lead after your divorce?Following divorce it’s very likely you will want to maintain the same lifestyle as you enjoyed during your marriage.

If there are sufficient funds to go round that’s likely to be the outcome. However, consider what will happen if there isn’t enough money. The same income that was being used to support one household during the marriage will now be used to support 2 households following divorce.

On this basis, maintaining the same lifestyle just may not be possible.

Do not assume that if your husband wants to end the marriage, or maybe his affair was the reason for the divorce, that the law will in any way punish him financially to your benefit. I often hear women saying “I want him to pay” for what he’s done. But the law is not there to punish one or other spouse. Its aim is to split the available assets according to each parties needs. The court does not consider moral right or wrong:

If your husband has left the marital home, he will need to be rehoused. If there are children to the marriage he will need an appropriate sized property so that there is sufficient room for the children to stay when they spend time with him.

From a legal point of view it’s not appropriate for you to stay in the large family home and he live in a 1 bed flat. No matter how much that may be what you want.

It’s important for you to consider the joint finances. If there is not sufficient money for you to stay in the family home, the law will not uphold your request.

As hard as it may be, it’s important for you to take this on board as soon as possible. Work with your financial adviser to see whether there are sufficient funds for you to stay in the family home . However, there’s no point you trying to argue to stay in the house if the finances just won’t stretch to that. Digging you heels in and saying this is what you want, will simply increase the time and money being spent on your divorce. It’s hard to accept that you may need to leave, and will often feel unfair. But in law the divorce settlement will be based on the financial situation and what is affordable.

Listen to what your family solicitor advises you will be an appropriate outcome. They have years of experience and can predict the likely outcome with some confidence.

It may not be want you want to hear. But if you cannot achieve what you are requesting the sooner you take that on board the quicker you will be able to reach an outcome.

One of the areas of advice where I help my clients is to work with them to see if it is possible for them to stay in the family home. We look at various options, budgets, and what it is you can afford.

However, you should address with your adviser whether staying in the family home is infact the right option for you in the long term.

 photo credit: Flickr/Images_Of_Money

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