“We can’t afford it”
I knew that would be the answer before I asked the question. But almost like the scab you constantly pick at and never let heal, I had to ask it anyway.
All my friends were off on a school trip, and I so desperately wanted to go too. The 5 of us, sitting on the back seat of the coach, gossiping together, flicking through magazines, midnight feasts. I could almost taste the sweets, crisps, and chocolates we would gorge ourselves on until we felt sick.
But the taste grew sour as I realised….I wasn’t going to be part of it.
How was I going to tell them? Too ashamed to admit the truth, it became easier to say I didn’t want to go. Easier for me to take on the burden that there was something lacking in me, rather than say we couldn’t afford it. Or rather, my father decided he didn’t want to spend his money on it.
And so, the pattern continued. Shame about the lack of money, shame about the selfish parents who didn’t want to see what it all meant to me. Easier to say “oh no, that doesn’t sound like much fun at all. Think I’ll give it a miss”
I saw my mother trapped in an unhappy marriage, because she didn’t have money in her own right and therefore no ability to financially support 3 children.
And so began the whole cycle of playing small, keeping quiet and never voicing an opinion. Over time, I didn’t even know what my opinion was, because I was so worried about being told I was wrong.
I thought earning money would break the cycle and give me back the voice I’d silenced.
I earned more, saved more, but still didn’t have a voice. Until I realised that feelings of guilt, shame, regret, and confusion around money are rarely to do with money itself. It’s to do with your own feelings of self-worth.
If you’re using money to improve your inner self-worth, chances are you will never have enough.
As a result of my experiences, I’m up for creating a world where women take control of their money, rather than money takes control of them. A world where they understand the options available to them based on their financial situation and know how to improve their future. Where increasing your self-worth is so much more than saving more money.
For many, the answer may not to be to earn and save more money. The answer may be to change your relationship with money.
So, what is the answer for you? That will be different for each individual. It will be influenced by how money fits in with your values, your beliefs, your priorities, and your objectives. It will depend on exactly what it is you want to achieve with your life, and how you want to use your money. Your dreams and aspirations are as much a part of your financial plan as your wealth.
Abundance is a mindset, and it is way more than money in the bank. It is just as likely to be reducing your hours to give you more free time as it is to be going for that great promotion and raising your income. Abundance means different things to each of us and is as unique as your own signature.
I’m a chartered accountant, an independent financial adviser, a chartered financial planner, and a certified women’s coach. The combination of professional qualifications and coach certification means I can bring an extra layer to my work with my clients.
Not only can I deal with the technical issues of helping you and guiding you to look after and grow your money, but I can also help you explore your relationship with money and wealth. We can address your limiting beliefs around money or anything else which may be holding you back and stopping you from feeling abundant and being your best self.
I bring all my skills and my years of experience to help you create the abundance you crave.
If you’re up for joining me on this journey and want to explore whether we’re right to work together, please email me on [email protected]. We can arrange a confidential, no obligation phone call to discuss this further. I have a number of different service options available and we can see which one is right for you. Your journey to abundance begins with that email so please contact me today.
And in the words of the wonderful Coco Chanel:
I was lost in a minefield of options, and rather ignorant of how the financial world works. Mary was invaluable with advice on what to do, explaining things, so that I understood fully what would happen to my money and investments. Mary was understanding and did not make me feel inadequate needing help. I now feel secure and my mind is put at rest with Mary’s expertise
– Ruth Dellow
Mary listened to what I wanted. I did not once feel overwhelmed with financial jargon or pressurised to go in a direction I did not want to. Mary has high integrity and strives to do her best for her clients because she actually cares about them.
– Caroline Crowhurst
Mary’s advice is so down to earth and straight forward that I feel I am at last getting to grips with my finances. She explains everything without technical jargon and I always know I can ask any question without feeling it’s a foolish question. Her service is absolutely amazing.
– Dr Diane Keith