I have some clients who come to me feeling almost shell shocked their husband has asked for a divorce. In many instances these women weren’t even aware there was a problem in their marriage.
Some clients come to me and they’ve known for a long time their marriage wasn’t right, they weren’t happy, but they just didn’t know what to do.
And then, some clients come and they’ve sat down very calmly with their husband and discussed how they both want to proceed with the divorce.
Every client is different and they are all at a very different stage when they come to talk to me. But what they all have in common is that divorce is a difficult time, even when both parties are dealing with it amicably. Emotions are running high, and it’s a time of great upheaval and uncertainty.
If your husband has requested a divorce it’s not at all unusual particularly at the outset for you to be in denial, and feel that if you wait for a while your husband will change his mind about the divorce.
Now, I don’t for one minute suggest rushing through a divorce before you’re ready. You won’t necessarily make good decisions when you are in such a difficult emotional state. However, you also mustn’t stick your head in the sand, and pretend it’s not happening. If you do, the whole process will take longer and be more expensive.
Therefore, my advice to you is that at an early stage talk to a solicitor and a financial adviser to ask about what options are available for you. Once you have that information you can start thinking about what lifestyle you want to lead in the future.
Speaking to someone at an early stage does not commit you in any way. You won’t have started divorce proceedings if that is not what you want. My advice is simply to arm yourself with information to understand what options are available in your specific circumstances.
In an ideal situation, you may be able to sort out your relationship and not proceed to divorce. But if the divorce does go ahead the sooner you understand your options the closer you will be to getting the outcome that is right for you.
There are many professionals who can help you through your divorce. Start talking to these people as early as possible so that you have the knowledge you need to help you make decisions. These professionals will help you through each stage of the process.
If you would like to have an informal no obligation chat with me please do call me on 07801 964949. I’d be delighted to talk to you.
photo credit: Flickr/Spartacus007
